Working with me

What actually happens in a session?

The first one is mostly me listening and asking fairly specific questions, so that by the end of it we both understand the particular shape of your version of this — when it started, what happens in the moment, what you have been doing about it, and what you concluded it meant.

By the end of that first hour you should have something you have probably never had: an accurate map of the thing, rather than a vague dread about it. A good number of men report that this alone reduces the pressure noticeably, because a named mechanism is much less frightening than a mystery.

After that we work through the same material the book and the course cover, but fitted to you — reducing pressure in the moment, interrupting the self-monitoring, rebuilding in low-pressure steps, and, where it helps, using hypnosis and relaxation work to give your nervous system some direct practice at being unhurried. Between sessions there are small, unglamorous things to do. Nothing you would be embarrassed to be seen doing.

Do I have to describe it in detail?

No. This comes up more than any other question, so let me be plain about it.

I do not need explicit detail and I will not ask for it. What is useful is the pattern — when the fear arrives, what your attention does, what you do next. You can describe all of that without describing anything you would rather not, and you set the pace throughout. “I’d rather not go into that” is a complete sentence and I will simply move on.

How many sessions will this take?

Typically [N]. Some men need fewer, some need more, and a few need something different from me altogether — see below.

I do not sell packages or ask you to commit to a block up front. We book one at a time. If you decide after the first that this is not for you, that is a perfectly reasonable thing to decide and you owe me nothing further.

What does it cost?

[SESSION FEE] per session, [LENGTH] minutes, payable [WHEN/HOW]. [CONCESSION RATE?]

The price is on this page deliberately. “Enquire for pricing” asks you to expose yourself before you know what you are getting, and given what this problem is, that seems to me exactly the wrong way round.

Is it online? Does that work as well?

Yes, and in my experience yes — for this particular problem, arguably better. You are in your own house rather than a waiting room where you might meet someone you know, there is no journey to talk yourself out of, and a surprising number of men find it easier to say the difficult sentence to a screen than across a coffee table.

[VIDEO PLATFORM]. If your connection is poor we can do it by phone, which also works.

What if it doesn’t work?

Then I would want to know reasonably early, and I would say so first. I cannot promise you an outcome — nobody honest can, and I would be suspicious of anyone who did.

What I can tell you is what tends to shift and in roughly what order: the shame usually goes first, then the avoidance, then the self-monitoring. Erections tend to follow the pressure coming down rather than lead it, which is why we do not use them as the scoreboard.

If we are several sessions in and nothing is moving, that is a conversation I will start, and it may end with me suggesting a medical review, a psychosexual specialist, couples work, or a different therapist. I would rather do that than keep taking your money.

Who this isn’t for

I would not be the right person if the difficulty has not been medically assessed and there are physical signs pointing that way; if the main issue is relationship distress rather than the erections; if there is significant trauma that needs specific therapeutic work; or if you are looking for someone to guarantee you a result by a particular date.

If any of that sounds like you, say so on the call and I will point you somewhere more useful. It takes ten minutes and costs you nothing.

What about privacy?

Sessions are confidential, within the standard professional limits, which I will explain plainly before we start. I keep [NOTES POLICY]. Payments appear on your statement as [STATEMENT DESCRIPTOR]. Emails come from [CONTACT EMAIL] with an ordinary subject line that does not say what it is about.

I don’t publish client testimonials for this work. You will understand why.